Polish with Egyptian
by poochyena123
Summary: Poland suddenly appears before Egypt! What will he do and why is this weird Polish man at his house!
1. Chapter 1

Quiet. It was…quiet. Egypt found himself lying in his sofa, snuggling to one of its pillows and sighs. His boss gave him a week vacation from the madness of the world, seeing the nation is tired and barely awake to do his paperwork. His jackal lay beside the sofa since Egypt took the whole thing for himself so had no choice but lay on the floor. Quiet…how lo- DING DONG. A quiet curse escapes his lips, hoping it was his imagination- DING DONG. So much for quietness as Egypt gets up, minding his jackal, who is all perked up and at the door curious who had showed up, he went to the door and opens just a crack to see who it is.

"Like Egypt man! You are here. PHEW I am glad! It's like totally baking out here!"

Poland stood at the doorway, fanning himself is a girly way, wearing a pink tang top and very short-by the looks of it- school uniform skirts. "So like are you going to let me in?" Before Egypt could even comprehend why Poland is here, he pushes the door open and slams it behind him, "Why lliiveee in such hotty place, dude? You could like…fry out there, like those little bunny poo things that people eat. Though you could get some nice tanning out there, totally for sure, I could use that!"

While Poland rambles on whatever he tends to talk about, Egypt just stood there with amazing amount of confusion on why Poland was here…in his house…commenting his land …and...being here. His jackal seems to be getting the same questions though wags its tail, considering this is something new happening and wants some fun.

"Like Egypt, your face is totally funny right now! Wait wait…lemme get my camera…it's so funny, I'm not joking." Poland starts fishing in his pink fanny pack on his hip before Egypt grabs his hand.

"What are you doing here?' he asked, his tone quiet and mono, keeping his grip on the nations' hand.

"Wah you don't know? Oh yea! You like miss the meeting didn't you? So that America guy totally thought up this crazy game." He made this circling waving gesture as he talks, "Something like getting more relate what not to other nations and I like got you in the hat pulling! So yea…We're buddies for a week!" He attempted to hug Egypt but he backs away and falls face first into the floor,"Ooooowwwwwiiieeeeee that totally hurts man!."

Egypt watches the pitiful man whining over his throbbing head while his jackal finds it a game and pounce the poor…erm...somewhat poor nation. "AH! Your cat is on me!" The jackal jumps off, startled to be called a cat. A cat! Finding it as an insult, the jackal starts growling before getting smack on the head by Egypt.

Poland gets up, brushing his skirt and smiles," I'm starving! Got anything to eat? I hope your food isn't like…icky or something old man style food or uh…mushy. Totally like candy and, well…my food!"

Old Man food style? OLD MAN FOOD STYLE? Egypt twitched at that comment as he watch Poland, once again, rambling off about how great his food is. He isn't THAT old…well maybe but is it really that obvious? Maybe…perhaps…it is? Is he becoming an old man and will complain a lot like Japan or China? It can't be that obvious! Egypt's mind juggle around ideas and theories of this 'old man' comment until, suddenly a bright flash interrupt his thoughts and blinded him.

"Haha you really make funny faces at your house! You always look serious at the meetings but here, you are fabulously funny!" Poland piped up, with a camera in his hand.

Poland sat in Egypt's sofa he was once laying; munching what appears to be crunchy sticks, as Egypt figures out some sort of Polish food that he brought along in his fanny pack. He's been there an hour, his jackal sulking in Egypt's bedroom for being called a cat, Egypt, however, been trying to get this Polish man out of his house. It was HIS VACATION and wants to be alone…away from everyone!

"You should like relax man nomnomnomnom, totally not good for your skin if you are all like nomnomnomnom stress you know?" spoke Poland, noming the sticks like some rodent with a seed. "Only for a week, it'll be totally fun! Thought nomnomnomnom I don't even know you but we could be buddies for like life!"

Egypt winces at the idea and curses more quietly towards America, who thought up this game and sent Poland to his house. America….that's it! Egypt got up and went for is phone, ignoring Poland's questioning, he dials America's phone number.

Ring Ring Ring Ring.

"Hero here!" yelled America through the phone, making Egypt holds it away from his ear.

The only time Egypt talks and likely to get him to talk is through a phone, for he had no choice but to talk," Why is Poland at my house?"

"Eh? Oh Egypt! Your voice is so weird…anyway Oh yes Poland! Isn't it a great idea? I made this game where all the nations who were at MY meeting pick other nations name in my awesome hamburger hat and spend a week so their relationship can get better!" America takes a breather or so Egypt thought, "Since you weren't at the meeting, Poland got you! Russia wasn't all too happy nor was Lithuania BUT I hope you two have fun!"

"But-" Beep beep beep, America hung up on Egypt which he places the phone back and groans.

"Like Egypt, who did you call? I heard my name! Am I getting something special? I like a gift, that's totally cute of thing for you to do! Maybe you aren't a cranky old man after all!"

So much for a quiet vacation.


	2. Chapter 2

**OK! Now I have recovered from AX madness, I shall finally continue with this story! Hope you all enjoy this crack pairing!**

The sun began to set as the air cool with a gentle breeze, Egypt found himself rather exhausted. The day was crazy…with his guest, Poland, who appear out of nowhere, watching Soap Opera shows that even Egypt didn't know it existed in his channels-not that he watch Television a lot, only to see what is going on in this crazy world—although is distracted the man!

Egypt decided to call it a day and heads for his bed, not caring if the Polish man sleeps on the coach or outside, he just wants to be alone in his bed. Shedding off his clothes down to his boxer, he crawled into his bed and quickly fell asleep. Perhaps this was just a dream…a…simple…weird dream. He felt the bed shake a little but; all he could think was his jackal must have given up and jumped onto his bed to sleep with him. A dream, only a dream.

Morning came, the sun blazing through the linen curtains into the room, making it hot and stuffy. Egypt woke up, eyes blinking from the dazzling sun and lays there not wanting to get up. He tried to recall what happen yesterday and remembers the Polish man. He groans and rolls out of bed, looking over to where his jackal would have slept on the other side of the bed. Poland lay sprawled out, hands dangling off the edge of the bed, wearing a pink tank-top, blankets all tossed and tangled up on his body probably fighting from the heat but, he was sleeping in Egypt's bed…the OTHER side.

Egypt couldn't help but stare at the snoring man. He…he...slept...in…his…bed. Brain trying to process the information, Egypt stumbles back, shocked at this. No one have ever slept in HIS bed, except for his jackal. Thinking of his jackal, Egypt looked around and found his buddy demoted to sleeping on the floor, looking miserable. He inwardly groans, grabbing his stick (which is laying beside his bed in case someone decides to break into his house) and starts poking the invading man.

Poland was having a wonderful dream! He was in this totally amazing Ice Cream land with all these ice cream flavor he loved! He never felt so happy in his life! Skipping through the land, he felt something poking his arm. Annoyed, he tried brush away whoever was poking his arm, in which, he won't turn around to see who is poking him. The poking continued until he whined in his sleep, "Like totally stop…I want my ice ccrreeaammm." But the poking kept getting worse.

Waking up to reality, Poland whined as the sudden brightness stung his eyes, "Can you like totally stop, I want my bbeeauttyyy sleep!" He kept whining, blinking away the tears. It was hot, beyond hot. He found himself rather sweaty and sticky, "Eewww why is it so hot? It's like totally going to ruin my skin from its icky sweating and all!' Finally able to blink away the tears, he saw an angry Egyptian (or so he thought…he face was still blank) staring down at him, poking his arm with a stick. Oh yes, Poland forgot he was in Egypt's house, "EEgggyyppttttt like, good morning! Your bed is ssoooo big and squishy! It's hot and it's making me sweaty. Why must you have blankets in this heat?"

Egypt finally stopped poking the man to full awareness, hearing his whining right from the start made him shudder. A week with him! This is going to be a nightmare! He went back to his side of the bed, placing his stick back down and pokes his jackal to wake up until, he heard Poland saying as he slowly got out of bed, "Like Egypt! I have never seen you so…exposed!" Face burning red from embarrassment, Egypt quickly grabbed his clothing and went (more like ran) out of the room.

Poland blinked confused at the nation's sudden hyperness," Whoa...is he that energetic in the morning?" He shrugs, standing up to stretch. "Egypt skin I am so jealous of! It's like perfectly tanned! I want to know his secret to that! For such an Old man…he doesn't like, look old at all." He thought, hearing the jackal yawning loudly, Poland look down to see that thing glaring at him, "Like what? You totally hate meeeee. Wwwhhhyyyyy," he pouted as the jackal turned his tail to him and left. "You people are like so weird, you know that!"

Poland, after finding a mirror in Egypt's room and check himself over, went outside and bumps into the Arabian as he came out of the restroom, dressed back into his casual clothing, "Oh like Egypt, I was like totally going to ask where your restroom is." Seeing the man gave him a blank stare and gave a nod toward the room then, heads to the kitchen. "Like thank you! I feel so icky with all this sweat! Oh and you have to like tell me about your skin! I am so jealous how perfectly tanned you are!" He smiled. Poland saw the man stiffen up and hurries to the kitchen, shrugging on why he keeps reacting odd. Like, totally weird nation here.

Face blushing; Egypt went to cook in his kitchen but, stops just as he about to reach for the ingredients. What do Polish like? Egypt ponders at this, never having such foreigner guest in his house, especially in the morning. Tapping on the counter, he thought anything that could of sound good to Poland. Avoiding that look like "old mans" food, Egypt decided simple eggs is good enough. As he cooked, his thoughts went to a dreadful question, which, he paused in mid cooking. What will he do with Poland for the rest of the day?

**Hahah poor Egypt! This is going to be one crazy week for this man~ anyways; I'm not going make each chapter a day. It'll be too long to do each day and I have to think about how to do EACH day. Egypt is not easy and Poland is like…the opposite of Egypt you know? Day and Night as my mom would say!**

**Don't worry…last two days are going to be really fun~**


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